Episode 04

[Rita]

Will this be the round I have complexity in this confessional? 

[Rita]

This challenge being image reliant And five sets? I might need to take the penalty "/

[Rita]

Let's see if I can get anything resembling a traditional confessional update to happen with this post.

It is weird that I have struggled to put my thoughts into words since it isn't like I lack them. My time on this tribe has certainly involved various highs and lows. I guess some of the problem is that I've reached a point where some aspects of games are more of the same for me? In my first game, five years ago, I could take the most minor element of the game and write about it. Everything was new and nothing was routine. Nowadays there is very little that I haven't done before, so there is less urgency to document everything I'm feeling if that makes sense? And the distractions I'm dealing with offline make finding a spare moment of peace difficult too. Until a few months ago I would always have time in the middle of the night to update my confessional and ensure I wasn't behind on messages. Now I can't do that, not until I finally get a new laptop anyway.

So I do feel compromised in that regard. Yet I also feel satisfied with the direction I've taken Rita in thus far? Not seeing her movie has given me the freedom to take on a personality of my own and there isn't pressure the way there normally is with my characters in games. Over the last year or so in preparation for games I have literally watched entire seasons of TV Shows to get an understanding of the character I'm taking on, as in-character interactions are vital to them. This I'm approaching far more casually and it is kinda refreshing? I'm definitely enjoying my time in this and I'm doing the best I can to overcome the various situations I'm dealing with restricting my potential. Hopefully it'll continue to work.

Being on the losing tribe again is obviously hella frustrating. This literally always happens to me, even in games where I am competing at my peak level individually. This is my 35th ORG and I could probably count the number of times I've entered a merge in a majority on one hand? It's been kinda ridiculous. On this tribe it has been especially tragic to have happen because our core alliance is all strong socially and strategically in a way I haven't seen in most of my Australian ORG experiences. Normally I legitimately dislike the majority of those I play with in this community. It is disappointing to know that Selene being a dumb bitch and randomising her choices caused this imbalance to occur. When I look at the other tribe I don't see much positive at all. Noxeema is probably hilarious? Otherwise they all seem basic and apparently have challenge skill to counter this fact.

I suppose some will argue Beatrix should have been voted out over Ma-Ma first, thinking we wouldn't have defaulted the following challenge, but I honestly disagree? Beatrix vanished during Tribal Council, we had no way to know that would be the last we saw from her and Ma-Ma just could not hold her own to save her life. She was brief in her replies beyond acceptability and even reduced her messages to single emoticons with some of the other bitches. I do not doubt that Ma-Ma's participation would not have changed the outcome of the second challenge. She sucked. And in a weird way everything going like it did was for the best if we had to lose twice anyway.

The way we reacted to Beatrix's inactivity was glorious, like legitimately among my favourite moments in gaming :') Normally I'm not one to bother posting on the board all that much, yet the opening to host our Tribal Council was irresistible and I went for it despite myself. The other bitches all played along perfectly. It was especially validating that Ripley adopted our thread for official use The entire chain of events definitely bonded us together and bought out the bets in us. It should mean that our six has no ongoing concern with Call and shouldn't have had any with Sarah, but at the rate we're going it'll likely only be the core six who survive to the next phase. Hell, it is entirely possible not all of our six will get that far .

I admittedly haven't given much thought to the hierarchy within our core six. It just hasn't been necessary? There have been some ostensible arrangements within in that were mentioned early and were never solidified. I reckon Xenia and I would be the two who communicate least relative to the others, although Cameron does most of her work in one to one exchanges. T-X has always held a position of influence and prominence, yet I think she's probably the least articulate member and might not be drawn to us in different circumstances? It's hard to explain. I think her character is slightly less organic than the rest of us, although I like her a great deal. I think the two who are assured survival at the moment are Jessica and Alice? Hm. I could write individually on why I adore all my bitches, but dinner is soon and I need to finish it, so I'll just say collectively they're one of my best alliances already. It's a big call but they are earning it 100%

Tonight I have to do the challenge and find a way to placate Call. I'm a little nervous about both. I also need to call out Kaylee for being an inactive piece of shit. See y'all in the mission thread

[Rita]

Of course this bitch Kaylee would finally decide to exist again tonight It is seriously ridiculous of her to be away that long nevertheless and I hope she has been put on notice for this.

[Rita]

Yikes @ Xenia.